The refuelling truck was literally a pickup with a fuel tank in the back. We then had the issue of a 767 parked in the middle of what was basically a field with a strip of tarmac on it. When I say we stopped inches from the end of the runway and would have been on the highway if the plane was any heavier, I'm not joking. I wasn't worried until I saw the length of the runway. We had to do a holding pattern for a while to see if the storm cleared and probably to burn off some fuel, but we were surrounded. Plane in America (I think I was going Boston to Atlanta) got hit by lightning and diverted to a tiny local airport. This is the reason that flights get cancelled due to volcanic ash. He described the landing as "like trying to navigate your way up a badger's arse" When they touched down, they also discovered that they had no landing lights and the bright lights of the airport made it impossible to see so they just shut the plane down on the runway. The first officer found a strip of glass that he could just about see through so he pressed his eyes against the window and instructed the pilot how close to the ground he was. He made the approach using only instruments, at which point he realised his vertical guidance system had also failed. His windscreen was damaged by the ash, as he discovered on approach to Jakarta airport when all he could see were smudges of lights. Lost all 4 engines on a 737 over the maintains of Indonesia due to a volcano and still managed to land safely. I trust you are not in too much distress." We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
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